What is Christmas all about? That’s down to debate, but the run up to Christmas is all about ‘Who sells the best mince pie?’.

The team at FCD have so many skills, it would takes us ages to list them. But our main Christmas skill is ‘mince pie testing’. It’s unofficial to the world of retail, but of major importance in the FCD studio. Every morning we have a mince pie-off, with offerings from all over, and below are the ‘2019 FCD Mince Pie Results’.

Co-op’s little mince pies – The taste is good, the pastry is excellent but they’re just one bite wonders – 6/10

ASDA’s offering – Not bad, a bit standard, but acceptable – 5/10

Iceland crumble topped mince pies – Where’s the tradition Iceland, a mince pie with a crumble topping. This isn’t right and gets marked down because of it – taste wasn’t too bad – 6/10

Morrisons quality mince pies – Seem to be as good as last years. Not too crumbly and great with a cuppa – 6/10

Sainsbury’s quality? mince pie – Don’t eat these while wearing your going out outers. One bite and they crumble to nothing. Taste isn’t bad, but we’ve tasted better – 4/10

Greggs Christmas offering – Paul says “These are amazing”. Pastry and filling are in perfect harmony – 9/10

My favourite is ‘Audry’s mince pie from No.20 (next door neighbour). Laced with vodka, these are hardcore wobbly leg wonders and not recommended for the under 18’s. Just throwing this one in as it was my favourite even though they aren’t on sale.

FCD, clapping on the pounds in pursuit of the perfect pie. Merry Christmas one and all!